1- Fancy schmancy restaurants make me an awkward, uncomfortable mess. I put my elbows on the table and hear my proper grandmother whispering in my ear, “Sweetheart, that’s not very polite.” And as I yank my elbows off the table I bang my fork up against my plate and make a big “clang” sound, which makes me blush.

Oh and NOTHING is more stressful than ordering wine at a fancy place – what’s with the tiny pour, swirl, sniff, sip, and approval to the waiter? It bothers me. I’d just rather eat at “normal” restaurants and avoid the ulcer.

2- One day Mike and I will look back and laugh about the little “quirks” of our apartment, but at this point, they’re freakin annoying – turn off the fan AND the A/C to use the microwave or we’ll blow a fuse, I do six flights of stairs and have to spend $3.50 to do one load of laundry, the futon needs to be folded up carefully or the left side falls apart (damn IKEA), ignore the fax machine if it turns on by itself- it’s haunted, don’t toast toast till it’s toasted or the smoke detector will go off, etc., etc.

3- What’s up with cat-calling? Has a guy ever successfully picked up a nice wholesome girl by yelling to her from the top of a building?! It’s degrading and infantile and it seems like more of a form of “machismo” than an effective way of getting the girl…

4- I love food gadget infomercials. I always have. My obsession started with the Snack Master, that appliance that cooks triangular-shaped sandwiches. I got one for Christmas when I was a teenager, made one thing in it and realized it was a royal pain in the ass to clean. My packrat of a husband only let me throw it out last year.

Today I love the Magic Bullet and the Power Juicer.

5- I hate that one long hair stuck to the back of my shirt that keeps tickling my arm yet I can’t reach or see it… but I know it’s there.

Five little girls in five incredible days… I can’t believe it!!

Abagail and Grace

Katelyn

Lacey and mommy

Olivia

Danielle, one of my oldest friends (not in age but in time that we’ve known each other), just had her first baby, a GORGEOUS little girl name Katelyn Lois. It’s strange how much this birth hit me- I cry in happiness every time I look at Katelyn’s beautiful perfect little face.

Lots of my friends have kids, but many of them are my friends here in Montreal. I’ve known them since my 20s so it’s not that shocking when I watch them go through the process of being pregnant. But I’ve known Danielle since we were in elementary school down in Florida and she performed a dance routine in a poodle skirt while I lip-synched “The Twist” with a pillow up my shirt for the 5th grade talent show. We skipped school together, went ice skating at Lighthouse Pointe in Deerfield Beach, we went on trips to Gainesville and Tampa, we spent countless birthdays together seeing psychics and going on scavenger hunts, we went to homecoming dances and football games, we were in Annie Get Your Gun (she was an Indian and I was a townsperson), when I moved from Florida back up to Canada, we both hugged and cried in the front hallway of my old house, I was in her wedding and she came up to Canada to be in mine, and now she’s a mom. Wow.

I asked Danielle’s friend in Florida to text me as soon as she was in labour, and faithfully she did- the first text said “She’s starting to push!!!!!” and 10 minutes later I got a second text, “It’s a girl!!!” I was at dinner with my husband and his aunt and uncle, and I cried into my General Tao chicken. I was soooo happy she got her little girl. And I was sooooo sad by how far away I suddenly felt.

Me and my family finished dinner and went to the Montreal Jazz Fest, and when I got home I immediately checked Facebook. And there were pictures of Katelyn. She was here. After months of chatting with Danielle about her first trimester nausea (and her McDonald’s cheeseburger remedy), her growing belly, her salt and vinegar chips and Eggo waffle cravings, her growing bust, feeling the baby kick, and all the other steps of growing a human inside of you (a concept that still kinda freaks me out), Katelyn was here and Danielle was a parent and everything became so real and grown-up.

I can’t even explain how happy I am for Danielle and her husband. Katelyn is such a lucky lady to be born into that awesome family. She is going to be loved soooo much. My heart swells for them. And I can’t even explain how sad I am that I can’t be there to hold her and spoil her in person, and hug Danielle and cry with her in joy. My heart is heavy about that.

Everyone loves pregger pictures (not to mention baby pics), so I present you with a little montage of Danielle and Katelyn’s journey…

Me and Danielle at my wedding October 2009

28 weeks

32 weeks

37 weeks

1- Please stop putting police sirens in songs and on radio ads – it’s very confusing when you’re driving!

2- The TV show Modern Family is HILARIOUS! I don’t know why more people aren’t talking about the hilarity of that show…

3- There are a few things I wanna learn one day – how to play guitar, how to crochet and sew, how to do a proper wine tasting (and actually know what it is I’m tasting, smelling, etc.), and how to use PhotoShop for things other than cropping and putting pictures into black and white.

4- I love pedicures. I love the whole foot-soaking, foot-scrubbing, nail polish-painting, flipflop-wearing, toe-admiring thing!

5- My sunglasses are crooked. I see pics of myself wearing them and it makes my eyebrows look crooked. I’ve bent and contorted those dark nose pieces in every which way and still, they’re crooked.