Let me begin by apologizing for my blog absences recently – new contracts coupled with technical issues made for a crazy week but I’m BACK and have been wanting to write this for awhile now…

Life’s too short people. It sounds so cliche until there’s a loss or an unexpected change and everything gets so unpredictably mixed up. It makes you re-evaluate your priorities, and question your own choices and decisions. It gives you a reality check (or a swift kick in the behind).

I have all these “special” things I save for a “special occasion” – I have a drawer under my bathroom sink filled with fancy shower gels, lotions, and expensive bars of soap I’ve received as gifts and stashed away for… I don’t know what. I have these beautiful towels hidden in storage that I’m saving. I have this expensive little sachet of vanilla biscotti coffee tucked away in my pantry for “another time.”

Why?

What am I waiting for? For the queen to come and take a bath at my apartment? To make coffee for Leonard Cohen when he hears about my writing and shows up on my doorstep because he just had to meet me?! So that’s it – I’ve gathered all the goodies I’ve been “saving” and have vowed to USE THEM UP! My shower this morning was especially enjoyable as I dried off with the plush softness of my “new” towel, and my skin smells like sweet grapefruit after using a la-dee-da shower gel/lotion set that was gathering actual dust in my bathroom. I think I’ll start tomorrow with a freshly-brewed cup of vanilla biscotti Joe.

What are you saving for a rainy day? Because I think the weather forecast is calling for precipitation…

There’s really nothing like having girlfriends. Boyfriends and husbands are great, and so is the whole couple-socializing thing – I’m grateful to have a partner in life and someone to go to dinner parties and work things with. But when I spend time with “my girls,” I feel soooo lucky.

I have groups of “girls” from all different phases of my life – my Florida ladies (“my girls” who I grew up with), my Montreal girls,  my work girls from different jobs I’ve held, and I even have my in-law girls, all the wonderful women in my husband’s family who I love spending time with. There’s nothing like gabbing with your closest girls about men, sex, and life in general. There’s no greater dynamic than the one you share with women. You feel a sense of belonging, freedom, and kinship.

When you’re younger, friends seem to come and go much more easily – the slightest “slip” or gossipy word can send us little girls into a tizzy, and we’ll cut-off our girlfriends with the flip of a switch. But when you become a woman, and you’re dealing with all the grown-up subjects you can’t believe you’re now a part of – marriages and children and mortgages and careers – you count on having girlfriends. You need your girls. I can’t imagine not having each and every one of the special ladies I’ve met in my adult life. And I feel so blessed and unbelievably lucky to have the amazing circle of women that make up my network of friends. They’re bright and fun and honest and wise. They’re part of every great memory I have. They made me into the woman I am today. Without every single one of them, I wouldn’t be the person I’ve become, and for that, I am forever grateful.

So to all my girls (you know who you are) and all the girls of my girls – I salute you! You make a rainy summer afternoon, a drive around the neighborhood, a walk through the mall, a dinner at Denny’s, a night grounded in my bedroom, a wait at the airport, and every-day mundane activities a BLAST!!

1- I loved those candy dots stuck to the paper when I was a kid, but now, whenever I eat them, I end up with balls of soggy paper in my teeth. I peel them carefully and all, but inevitably I’m eating paper. It bothers me that I don’t like eating these anymore – I know it’s s sign that I’m losing my youthfulness. When you don’t like eating paper with your candy, you’re officially a grown-up (FACK!)

2- Isn’t it fun to run into someone you know at the grocery store? And is it equally as fun to stand side-by-side in a narrow aisle so no one can pass while you blabber away?! MOVE OVER!!

3- And speaking of where you should stand, let’s just put it out there once and for all – when I used to be a BMWer (bus metro walk) and took public transit to and from work every single day of my once-mundane life, there was one urban etiquette rule: when you’re on the escalator, stand on the right and WALK on the LEFT. Nothing was more aggravating than filing out of the metro in a line like cattle and making your way to the escalator, and just as you start trekking up the stairs some MORON makes a dead stop on the left-hand side, causing everyone behind them to mash into one another and stand there waiting to reach the top. MOVE OVER!!

4- Don’t leave your transaction receipt at the bank machine – it depresses me to see how much you have in your saving account.

5- Why do I always get the shopping cart that only makes left turns?!

Do you have a happy place, somewhere that you think about so you can relax and decompress?

Mine is my bedroom in Florida. Growing up, especially as a teenager, it was my “safe zone.” I had a pretty kick-ass bedroom – when I turned 15 my parents let me get a pull-out couch, and then they surprised me with an actual coffee table. I loved my little “apartment” – I even had a mini bar fridge (which only had coffee, a small carton of milk, and a jar of pickles) and a four-cup coffee machine! I was addicted to incense (and bought it all the time at Festival Flea Market), and I would work on my latest book at my electric typewriter while playing The Cranberries’ album “No Need To Argue.” I hid my money in a secret nook in my closet, which had aluminum louvered doors where I hung posters of Alyssa Milano, Debbie Gibson and Tiffany. On the inside walls of the closet my friend Jess and I wrote messages in glow-in-the-dark markers (she wrote “Go Rangers” and I wrote “I love Jon Mule”). I had a huge collage I made that said “Save the Children” (save them from what, I can’t remember), and I spent weeks cutting up magazines and gluing pictures of babies and kids on a giant bristol board. Various animals were my roommates over the years – turtles, a hamster, and two smelly guinea pigs (that were eventually evicted from my haven and relegated to the spare bathroom). It was so me.

So today, when I need a moment to escape, I just close my eyes and picture myself sprawled out across my couch, sipping my coffee and feeling soooo grown up and free, listening to Dolores belt out “Zombie.” If I have a migraine and I need to rest my brain, I force myself to focus on “touring” my Florida bedroom, with the big window that overlooked my street, the curio cabinet with my grandmother’s miniature glass animals, the sign that said “Smoking is nothing to crow about” (lol). I loved that bedroom I had from the ages of 7-17. I remember getting my first TV when I was 8, and when I turned 13, I got my own phone, which I picked out (I chose a purple phone because it had a “hold” button), and I had my own number (not my own line – the phone would do a double-ring when it was for me). I cried into my pillows in that room when boys broke my heart, I had sleepovers with my friends, I secretly smoked cigarettes out my window, I wrote hundreds of pages of stories and poetry. It was where I became me.

And my childhood bedroom will forever remain my happy place…

I can’t believe my little niece Serenity is starting kindergarten in the fall. It seems like just yesterday Mike and I were picking up my brother- and sister-in-laws, as well as this tiny little bundle, from the hospital, making the drive back to their apartment, me checking to feel her breath under her nose because she was just so darn tiny it freaked me out.

And now she’s off to real school, about to embark on years of exploration, socializing, all the major “firsts.” You remember the chronology of your life more when you’re in school, and with the start of each academic year comes a new opportunity to set goals, change your image, and so on (I always loved trying to write in a new way each school year, like only in cursive or capital letters – was I the only one?). I loved to dye my hair or pierce something before starting school (I dyed my hair red once, then burgundy another time, and I had seven holes in my ears not to mention attempted to pierce both my cartilage and my belly button, both unsuccessfully as well as painfully).

I can remember very specific things about certain milestones – on my 10th birthday party we had a food fight on my front lawn – my mom bought all my friends cans of whipped cream and foil pie pans, in 8th grade I shaved my legs for the first time, wore deodorant, and kissed a boy, Brad Cohen – we “went out” for four weeks and he broke up with me by leaving a Post-It on my locker (take that Carrie Bradshaw!). It was 10th grade when I skipped school for the first (and only) time – my best friend Danielle and I were walking down a main road to Clothestime and my parents drove right by us – oops! I cried the whole way back to school after seeing the movie “The Land Before Time” on a field trip in 3rd grade, and I held hands with Vinnie Mauro at the roller-skating rink for the 5th grade end-of-the-year activity.

But since my school days ended, mundane grown-up life has become such a blur. I couldn’t tell you what I did for my 23rd birthday versus my 27th. Don’t get me wrong – I’ve had some of the very best times of my whole life during my 20s, but there’s so many less milestones and even fewer moments of unabashed excitement or discovery. I remember the day I got my license in September 1996 – I drove home with my dad after passing the test, dropped him off at home, and took my new KIA Sportage all by myself to the drive-through at McDonald’s. I ordered a cheeseburger happy meal and smiled the whole way through the drive-through line. I remember the new-car smell of my little SUV mixed with the scent of greasy burgers and fries, and the incredible independence and freedom I felt. But I don’t really remember my first night in my own apartment. You’d think this would be a pretty memorable moment – I know it was sometime in 2000 (maybe ’01?) but it doesn’t really stand out like my younger memories.

Serenity is so lucky. She has so much ahead of her. Back to school means new clothes and new supplies, new teachers and new friends, new challenges and new milestones, and new opportunities to grow. It’s such an exciting phase of life.

I think I’m going to go buy some highlighters and composition books…

To switch things up a bit, I was thinking it might be humorous to do this week’s installment of RANDOM THOUGHTS… about my wonderful (and *ahem* understanding) husband Michael (humorous for me, maybe not so much for him). The great thing about this idea is that I can really test whether or not my sweet hubs does indeed read my blogs, a common complaint of my fellow writers (“My wife never reads my articles!”). So here we go – some random thoughts about my other half:

1- Darling, while I love that you want to stay hydrated, is there a particular reason you can’t close the cupboard door when you get a glass? You know that motion you use to open it? You just have to do the same thing again, but in reverse. Easy steasy!

2- Honey, while I love that you try and help out by making the bed, “making the bed” isn’t throwing the comforter over twisted sheets and wrinkled blankets – I end up having to re-make it before I can get into it at night. As I’ve ever-so-gently mentioned, it only takes a mere tug and a pull to straighten the bedding, so if you wouldn’t mind…

K’thanks.

3- Baby, while I appreciate you replacing the bag of milk after you finish it, you make me feel like a real nimrod when I go to pour some milk and nothing comes out because you haven’t snipped the corner. It will take three seconds. And just in case you forgot, sweetie, the scissors are in the drawer next to the forks.

4- Now I know I’m not the only one this bothers, love of my life, but when you leave crumbs in the butter, I avoid that spot like the plague… and after 143 times of you leaving crumbs in the butter, well, needless to say, all I’m left to butter my waffles with are greasy crumbs. Yuck my little buttercup. Just STOP IT!

5- If a pot or pan is dirty, lovebug, wash it. When you stash it in the oven instead, and then I unknowingly turn on the oven to preheat it, it wrecks my pans and makes whatever gunk has hardened on them even grosser. When you’ve committed yourself to doing the dishes, pumpkin, you’ve gotta do all the dishes.

LOVE YOU!!

I often think about the life lessons I want to teach my children. I figure if I can plan out those lessons now and the way in which to instill them, I’ll be ahead of the game (and every person out there who actually has children is rolling their eyes at me- I know it!)

So maybe mommies and daddies out there can help me – I present to you the core values I’d like to pass on to my kids. What’s the best way to teach children about these principles?

1- Do unto others. You can’t control the way others behave – you can only be in charge of yourself. If you’re about to talk badly about someone behind their back, think about how you’d feel if someone was doing the same about you. If you see someone who needs help, think about how you would feel if you were in need, and reach out to them.

Always treat people the way you want to be treated – BUT, don’t get angry when people don’t return the same respect or favor. Again, you can only control your own actions. And when you don’t know how to react in a situation, just put yourself in that person’s shoes.

2- Don’t rush things. Make mud pies and eat with your hands as long as you can get away with it. There’s lots of time to be a teenager and then be an adult, and you never get your childhood back, so seize it wholeheartedly. Make forts. Play with glitter and Play-Doh. Wish on stars. Believe in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. Catch lightning bugs. Watch Disney movies. Blow bubbles in your milk.

3- Be grateful. There is always someone who is worse off than you are. It’s easy to dwell on the things we don’t have and it’s harder to appreciate the things we do have. Face the challenge and walk the road less traveled. Be grateful for a sunny day, a smile from a stranger, laughter, love.

4- It’s not important what other people think about you. Get an A in school because you wanted to work hard at something and feel the joy of succeeding, not because you wanted to make your parents or your teacher happy. Ignore the class bully who calls you a ca-ca head. Rise above the popular crowd who won’t include you because you don’t have the new skinny jeans. Be able to look at the beautiful, unique person you are and appreciate the gift that is you. Don’t think you are beautiful because I tell you that you’re beautiful but because, when you look at your reflection in the mirror, you see a beautiful person staring back.

5- Follow your passion even if people doubt you. If you want to be a lion tamer when you grow up, then lets go to the museum and the zoo to learn about lions, lets enroll in science camp, lets get accepted into a university with an amazing veterinary or lion taming major (lol!) – whatever it is you love, you can do it forever. If it makes you happy, then there’s no reason to question your chosen passion.

I love Facebook. Everyone I know will tell you that I update my status countless times throughout the day, posting incessant links to my website, articles and blogs. In many ways I think it’s been a blast reconnecting with old friends, staying in touch with family, sharing my triumphs and tribulations with a network of people I feel I have an e-relationship with. I allow myself to open up to people on Facebook to a certain extent, probably much more so than my parents’ or grandparents’ generations would find acceptable but a lot less than other FB users.

I’ve noticed a trend on Facebook where people use the site to convey very personal info. I’ve seen births but also deaths announced in people’s statuses, I’ve read about people’s angst with love and relationships, and I’ve seen some even use it as a tool to maliciously badmouth someone else. Where do you draw the line?

In some ways, I understand why people use Facebook for these reasons – it’s a way to reach a huge number of people at once. So, for example, when someone passes away, it’s a much “easier” way to inform everyone rather than getting in touch with them individually. But as someone who may not know the deceased, when I see these statuses, I obviously feel inclined to leave a comment of condolences, which then makes me feel guilty for being informal enough to leave such a heartfelt, personal message on a FB page.

It really blurs the lines of technology and humanity… what’s too far?

1- You are not invisible in your car. You may be enclosed but it’s in GLASS. I can see you pick your teeth, pick your nose, dig in your ear, shave, cut your nails, floss, and brush your teeth (all things I have witnessed sitting in Montreal traffic). Please keep these habits to yourself people.

2- I read once that fingernails are the dirtiest part of the human body because so much bacteria gets stuck underneath them. So, fingernail clippings make me sick. Literally, when I hear that little “CLINK” of the clipper going in the bathroom and I know Mike is trimming his nails, my stomach literally turns. Nail clippings utterly make me nauseous.

3- Why do we even check the weather? Last night it was supposed to be cool and clear. Within 15 minutes it was howling wind, sheets of rains and low, rumbling thunder, and the entire city was under a storm warning. Weather people really have the best jobs in the world- they can make “predictions” but are never held accountable for ever being wrong. I wonder if a weatherman/woman has ever been fired for giving too many inaccurate forecasts.

4- My favourite part of the morning- watching the Smuckers birthdays/anniversaries on The Today Show. The other day a woman was turning 112 and still driving! Good on her!

5- People’s cell phone ringtones say a lot about that person’s character. The other day I saw the most serious businessman, an older gentleman dressed to the nines with his shiny expensive Italian shoes and coiffed hair (yes, it was even coiffed!), and his phone started to ring- to the sound of Queen’s “Another one bites the dust.”

I don’t know why it took me so long to discover the community swimming pool behind my apartment building, but I’ve gone every single day this summer since it opened at the end of June. I’d grown up having a pool in Florida – a house with a pool was like a lake with a gator – they just went hand-in-hand. The novelty of having a pool was completely lost on me as a teenager. I probably went in our pool a grand total of four times during my last year living there.

But lounging by a pool and taking a refreshing dip is definitely a huge perk when you live in a country with such short-lived summers. And my 1pm weekday date with the Greenfield Park pool is something I look forward to every day. I love taking that first leap and submerging myself in the cool water, feeling the shock and then the “ahhhh.” I love how limber I am in the water, how little my back and neck hurt (and how much less they’ve seemed to hurt since taking up swimming). I love the fresh smell of chlorine. I love swimming laps, dunking my head under the water and hearing the gurgling silence of being submerged. I love having the sun on my face and thinking about how most people I know are sitting in a stuffy office while I’m floating on my back, allowing my head to clear and the sun to kiss my cheeks.

Sometimes you forget about things you used to really love. Think back to your childhood and  try to remember the things that would get you excited, the things that you’d do that were always fun. Maybe you’ll rekindle a passion you’d forgotten about.

I wonder if I’d still love painting my nails with White-Out and cooking with a lightbulb in my Easy Bake Oven… hmmm…