It took me months to find mine. I was keeping the strangest hours my first few months of freelancing – it was to bed by 3am, maybe 4, and up around 11am. But then I realized that I was missing out on the first three or four hours of “regular” “normal” working time (no wonder it was to hard to set up interviews – why weren’t people willing to chat at midnight?!). I was missing peak times in the first part of the day with all my social media, like Facebook and Twitter.

And besides, I was missing Cosby Show reruns (go ahead – I can take the abuse).

Now several years into working from home and I’ve found my groove. My best writing time is in the morning and for some reason the creative juices start waning by noon, so if I’m up at 10am I only get in two really solid hours of writing. What does that mean? It means that when I’m pulling a six-article day I’m up at 4am – that way I have an eight-hour day before lunchtime (and boy, am I like a steam engine in those eight hours!). I’ve come to realize that I need a break mid-afternoon to clear my head, so that’s usually when I shower, change, have lunch, and walk the dog. Then it’s a few more hours of story ideas, catching up on emails, doing interviews, and a bit of accounting, and I’m punching out by 4pm (ok, 3pm).

Working from home is all about finding your groove. When it your best quiet creative time? When do you need a break? Then you can plan your day accordingly.

1- Knives go into the dishwasher cutlery rack facing DOWN! Otherwise you could stab yourself. What is so difficult to understand about this (ahem, Michael)?

2- Shampoo and conditioner that comes in pumps are great but the shampoo should dispense a bigger amount per pump than the conditioner. In the bottle I have now it takes about nine pumps to get the amount of shampoo I need.

3- Why do people ask, “What was I going to tell you?” Um, if I knew that, you wouldn’t have to tell me.

4- Let’s can’t be broken down like other contractions. There is no “let is.”

5- There’s a lot of Facebook lingo that irks me… “jajaja” doesn’t sound like laughter to me, and the “idk,” “smh,” and “fml” makes me POed.

I’m a chatty gal (what?! SHOCKING!!). I was always a great student and employee, but the only thing teachers or bosses have critiqued me for is being a tad too social (read: talkative). One of the few things I loved about working in an office were the friendships I made and continue to maintain today. But it can be kinda lonely sitting solo at a desk all day with no coworkers to bounce ideas off of or to commiserate with.

Being self-employed involves being disciplined as well as very independent. I count on a lot of my social media “friends” to keep me company and grounded throughout the day – if it weren’t for them I’d really feel isolated. My husband also gets inundated with long-winded tales about my day because, well, there’s no one else to tell my stories too.

So if you’re thinking about working from home, be prepared for a lot of alone time.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In fact, for me, I think it’s taught me a lot about myself. I’ve trained myself to brainstorm, write, research, edit, and project plan all on my own. I’ve become more comfortable in my own skin, as a person and a writer. I have no problem sitting in a restaurant, asking for a table for one, and working on my lappy for hours on end without a care in the world. Just as I’ve learned to deal with the abuse of working from home and gained a thicker skin, the isolation part of working from home has also helped me become a more seasoned journalist.

Don’t ya just love when a negative becomes a positive?

I held two full-time editor positions before I became a freelancer, and there were so many things that I neglected because it was too difficult to miss time at the office. Sometimes I’d have to use up an entire vacation day just to catch up on appointments and errands that could only be done during the week and which I often put off till the very last minute. My first month as a freelancer (read: bum) I suddenly found myself with all kinds of time to do the things I needed to do to take care of ME: dental work, exercise (OK, not as much as I should or could, but I still went on walks and spent summer afternoons at the pool doing laps), haircuts, blood tests, eye exams, physio therapy, and I even got a facial and a massage. I took a 12-week yoga class and a writing workshop.

I’ve been a busy baker and cook since I started working from home (and now I finally have enough room to do so!). We haven’t bought bread at a store since October because I bake it all myself now. The only packaged items we buy are cereal and condiments (mostly… ahem salt and vinegar chips).

I also volunteered a lot in my first year of freelancing – I had wonderful afternoons playing bingo with the lovely older people that I met working at a nursing home, friendships I continued even after the facility shut down (I miss you, Helen).

And I caught up on friendships, and met old pals and coworkers for lunches and drinks.

Working from home can be challenging, but the me time is one of the best perks of all.

Today we’ll delve into working from home – the abuse. Those of you who are self-employed know what I’m talking about: that preconceived notion of every office-chained friend that all we do is sip lattes in cafes and pick our noses and nap in our PJs all afternoon. And while those things can all be enjoyed from the comfort of home, we’re also WORKING.

Sure, we may spend a lot of time on social media sites like Facebook and Twitter, but while that’s part-fun, it’s also part-necessity – I network and therefore get a lot of leads for articles from my social media tweeps. But everyone loves to yank my chain (including my husband) about how I’m addicted to updating my Facebook status and commenting on pictures. Well, those things are definitely nice “breaks” when working on a major project (like writing a 100-page 31,000-word book on foreplay) and I’m not gonna apologize for my www.vices.com. I’ve had more people tell me how entertaining my posts are than how annoying they are, so if you don’t like it, unfriend me. I’m okay with it! (Oh gawd, watch my numbers drop now… lol)…

And yes, I may be up-to-date on a daily basis on Hot Topics (“The View“) and What’s Wrong With These Photos Photos? (“Ellen“), but it’s just playing in the background while I work, just like those ear buds you stay plugged into at your cubicle all day long.

When I’m at home working, I’m working from home. Sometimes it can be more aggravating to be chained to a desk AT HOME, where your couch isn’t just miles away but steps, and yet you have to keep writing and researching and replying to emails. I work hard for my money, honey. And I do it all alone. So stop the abuse.

Yep, it’s a heat lamp. I’ll also take the oval deep-soak tub, freestanding sink and toilet, and the textured walls…

I blogged about two of my favorite people in the world on this day last year, Mr. Andrew Mains and Ms. Amanda Lefebvre, because it’s their BIRTHDAY!!!! So today’s RANDOM THOUGHTS… are all about these two birthday babes… I LOVE YOU!!

1- Hey guys, What’s up with people telling us we’re so tall all the time?! Geez, we know. Thanks. *wink*

2- Andrew is probably the only guy I’ve ever known to have a baby boy’s and girl’s name picked out before he was even married. I think that’s cute.

3- Amanda and I have been besties for years, she’s fluently bilingual, and I don’t think I’ve ever heard her speak French. If I could speak French and she couldn’t, I’d definitely tease her. You’re a better friend than I, Amanda…

4- Andrew can out-drink anyone… except when Amanda is the bartender (am I right or am I right?!)

5- Amanda has some strange addiction to my feet. She is OBSESSED with the picture of my broken foot… look for it on my wall in the near future.

Our “sexy and mysterious” faces

I took a three-month yoga course at a studio near my house, and every session started and ended with meditation. Most people would lie in the “corpse” position (flat on your back with your legs and arms sorta sprawled out comfortably), including me, and soft instrumental music as well as the trickle of water from the fountain in the corner of the room were the only sounds. The lights would stay dim and the instructor would quietly tell us, “Reeelaaaaaax. Cloooose your eyyyyyes and cleeeear your miiiiiiind.”

And that’s where I would get stumped.

How do people actually clear their minds? Here’s what’s happening on my yoga mat during meditation… I close my eyes and picture an ocean. It’s early morning, the beach I’m on is empty, and all I can hear is the sound of the crashing waves. I take a deep breath. And another. But wait… do you think the yoga instructor cleans these mats? My face is like RIGHT next to it – I wonder how many other people’s faces have been in this spot.

Or, worse yet, maybe they had the mat turned around and now my face is on their feet. OK, no, no… focus. Cleeear your miiiiind. I see the waves… the sun is coming up…

But even if the instructor DOES clean the mat she has classes all day… inevitably I am getting someone’s toe jam on my face. Oh my gawd I’d better hand sanitize my face as soon as I get out of here…

I CAN’T DO IT! My mind is always running. I can’t clear my mind. I don’t even understand what that means. I am ALWAYS thinking. I am thinking from the second I open my eyes in the morning and I don’t stop thinking until sleep finally shuts my brain up at night. I’ll be writing or reading about one topic and thinking about something completely different. I can never just do one thing – if I’m cleaning or cooking I have five different things on the go… and an extra sixth on my mind.

For those of you who meditate or practice yoga and have found this magic place of mind emptiness, I commend you. And I envy you.

OK gotta go fold laundry while I whip up a batch of brownies and do a few dishes… I wonder if the chicken or the egg came first…

1- Hey all you little kids who are begging your parents for a puppy, slathering on all those doe-eyed “pleeeeeease’s”, promising Santa and the Easter Bunny that they’ll never have to bring you another present again if you get a puppy… yeah I’m talking to you. Just wait till March when you have an entire winter’s worth of poo to pick up in a backyard. Ask me how much you want a puppy when you’re wearing galoshes and rubber gloves and carrying around an ENTIRE GROCERY BAG filled with nasty turds. Still want a puppy? (Love you Theo)

2- Someone asked me the other day if our future kids would hyphenate their last name. I would never subject my children to being a little Cox… er, ok, that came out wrong…

3- Who are these people who get front row concert tickets at HUGE show like U2, Madonna, and the like? You practically have to belong to a secret society these days to get your hands on a good seat at a concert.

4- Remember when a movie ticket cost $4.25? Yep, that’s right: I’m old enough for “remember when…” stories. *Shudder*

5- It’s SUPPOSEDLY… not supposably!

I have a majorly ghetto (read: ancient) cell phone. When I’m texting in public I get a lot of looks, and I just figured people were impressed by the speed of my texting capabilities. In fact, I think it’s more because I still have to press the number 2 three times to get the letter “c,” see?

I have around a dozen texts saved for nostalgia… I like to flip through em because they make me smile. I thought it might be fun to share them with you…

(from my friend Danielle’s best friend Katie, who was instructed to update me on her giving birth back in July 2010)

7:26pm- “She is starting to push now!”

7:41pm- “It’s a girl!!!” (Welcome to the world baby Katelyn!)

(from my cousin and best friend Jamie)- “Jenn, you look so beautiful in your wedding photos. And Mike’s not too bad either!” (To which I replied, “Yes, four hours at a salon can work wonders!”) To which he replied- “YOU were beautiful. Not your hair and makeup- YOU.”

(from my bestie Amanda)

November 4, 2010, 5:00pm- “It’s baby time.” (Welcome to the world baby Avery!)

(from my bestie Jackie)

July 1, 2010 at 1:51pm- “Just finished ur book. Loved it. Xoxo.”

(and again from Jackie, the morning after giving birth to her first son Blake)

June 1, 2011 at 7:56am- “I love you so much too. So happy you were there with me. The two men are sleeping so I’ll give you a call later. I finally just got a chance to take a shower. I am so happy.”